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You really have to watch both shows to get this post…lack of sleep and being off your meds helpt too :) Feel free to add you own scenarios in the comments section

ap press release january 12, 2008

Great news from Hollywood today! Due to the effects of the writers’ strike, the television shows “Lost” on ABC and “Battlestar Galactica” on the Sci-Fi Channel will be combined into one TV-show in the fall of 2008.

Show runners Ronald D. Moore (BSG) and J.J.Abrams (Lost) released a joint written statement to the press this afternoon summing up the general plots of the two combined shows. The following is a summary of that release.

• John Locke looks into the eye of Adama and what he sees is not beautiful.

• The Island’s population of wild boars drops to zero as Galactica’s Vipers strafe them, the pilots believing the boars to be Cylon centurions

• Starbuck sleeps with Sawyer and then breaks his heart by marrying someone else.

• Baltar and Six become the island‘s new “Nikki and Paulo.”.

• The Cylons capture Walt, causing Michael to scream “Wallllllllllllllt” another six thousand times per episode. Luckily, in space, no one can hear Michael scream.

• Chief Tyrol, Anders, Colonel Tigh and Tory discover that they are not Cylons after all but are instead “Others”

• Starbuck sleeps with Ben and then breaks his heart by marrying someone else.

• Jack tries to shoot President Roslin in the head because she is constantly telling people what to do.

• Colonel Tigh tells the Smoke Monster to go frak itself, causing it to attack the colonial officer…Tigh kicks the snot out of it.

• Michael betrays Lee Adama and the Cylons give him and Walt a Raider to leave the island…they wind up on Mars.

• Vincent barks a lot and then humps a Raptor (Come on, he’s been the only dog on the island for a long time and the wild boars ain’t cutting’ it any more)

• Starbuck sleeps with Kate and then breaks her heart by marrying someone else.

• Sawyer cons Adama out of two freighters and an ore processing ship by telling him that he can get him some free botox treatments and 300 tubes of acne statin.

• Faraday and Baltar compete in the third annual “Who is the weirdest scientist currently on the island” contest.

• Starbuck sleeps with Richard Alpert and then breaks his heart by marrying someone else.

• Rose, Juliette, Jin and Frogurt discover that they are actually Cylons but they really couldn’t care less.

• Kate captures and questions Baltar but finds out that nobody on Galactica really gives a rat’s ass about what she did.

• Starbuck sleeps with a polar bear and then breaks his heart by marrying another polar bear.

• Sawyer gets Cyber-herpes from Starbuck…so do both polar bears.

• Barbra Walters interviews one of the mechanical Cylon Centurions…it shoots her…then it cries.

• President Roslin throws Hurley out an air lock because she suspects that he’s a Cylon, Luckily, they’re on an Island so Hurley just lands on the beach.

• Starbuck sleeps with half the people on the island and then breaks their hearts by marrying the other half of the people on the island.

• Jin is pissed again because he finds out that Sun also learned to speak “Colonialese” and “Cylonese” without telling him.

• Juliette tells President Roslin that the “We better start having babies” line from the miniseries…not a good idea on this island.

• Desmond meets Six while she is wearing her sexy red dress. She asks him who Penny is and he replies “Penny who? I don‘t know anyone named Penny…so do you like wine, sistah?”

• Helo captures Ben and beats the hell out of him because “…why not, everybody else on this island does…”

• Though he speaks with a fake, mid-western accent, Lee Adama and Charlotte get in a fist-fight over who has the most pretentious British accent.

• Boomer challenges Sun to a boxing match. Sun kills her but Boomer resurrects and challenges her to a rematch because she wants to be the only hot Asian chick on the island.

• Adama leaves the island and becomes famous as one of the “Galactica -6” and starts doing voice-overs for Country-Time Lemonade commercials.

• Apollo finds Hurley’s secret food stash and is able to use it feed the 30,000 members of the fleet for another 3 weeks.

• Baby Aaron and Baby Hera go to daycare together, find they both have a special destiny and team up to destroy the world

• The Cylons take over the company that produces “Lost” thus justifying the name “Bad Robot Productions”

• The Cylons resurrect Charlie. He goes back to the Looking Glass Station with Desmond and again drowns in a flooded room. But before he dies, he writes “Not Lorne Greene’s Battlestar” on his hand.

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