LOST-Theories.com

parody theory! 4 those who haven’t already read it

— Gill

Some might have already read it! found online

The ‘Him’ : http://lostpedia.com/images/9/97/3x20Jacobportrait.jpg long beard ,red clothes, long hair ,old , mustash,think about it we know who he is………………. Santa Clause ….. : )

He writes lists which judge who’s been naughty and who’s been nice . http://lostpedia.com/images/3/3e/MichaelsPaper.jpg and sends his favorite randier to deal with them accordingly: http://lostpedia.com/images/8/85/23psalmmonster2.jpg

If you’re nice he gives you the gift of healing or mind powers (legs to the old bald guy,future visions to a coward Scottish,horsey to a dumb girl,heals the fat black lady,”plane-full” of heroine to an addict,”plane full” of patents to a doc. and so on…………….. and if you are bad it gives you some coal by taking you underground or beats the hell out of u ……… http://lostpedia.com/images/8/88/Exoduspart2monster.jpg http://lostpedia.com/images/a/a8/Costofliving.jpg

Letters to Santa arrive via pneumatic tube http://lostpedia.com/images/4/42/Station5Pearl_messagetube.jpg http://lostpedia.com/images/5/50/JackTube1.jpg

The Island is St Nick’s hideaway,and ‘the others’ are his elf army http://lostpedia.com/images/4/45/Minor_Others.jpg . The island is of course protected from view so that his good works are not spoiled. So much so that instead of being at the north pole it’s in the Southern Pacific.

Santa will do anything to protect his secret and sends his evil Oompa Loompa’s out http://lostpedia.com/images/9/91/TO1.jpg , the cheeky leader wearing a fake beard as he pretends to be his master http://lostpedia.com/images/e/e3/2X24_TomBeard.jpg , to keep the survivors from his toy making station with its transmission tower for collecting the transmissions of children’s Christmas letters. http://lostpedia.com/images/7/79/Desmondsletters.jpg

The Hatch is one of the elf factories that has been abandoned as the minerals mined there have run out http://lostpedia.com/images/a/ac/Station3computerroom.jpg and they have moved onto another area of the island. http://lostpedia.com/images/a/ac/Utopiavillezoomout1.jpg

The Hurley bird is Santa’s talking mascot and potential product tie-in from the failed feature film pilot.(remember the bird that screem’s hurlee’s name)

The Magnetism is from the link the island has with the north pole and is seeping from a leaky portal. He used magnetic portals to bring reindeers to the island, and to enable them to pull his sleigh, but accidentally brought a polar bear through at the same time, causing the Incident involving Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer.

Unfortunately test flights of the sleigh have brought down nearby aircrafts (both airplanes and balloons) http://lostpedia.com/images/0/08/Art1c_2.jpg ya ya santa does need driving clases http://lostpedia.com/images/3/3e/Turbine_Explosion.gif

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