The Five-Gun Rant
+3 5 Votes
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By AngeloComet
- The Five-Gun Rant
- Created: Dec 11, 2007
- Last updated: Aug 13, 2008
- After episode: 1.2: Pilot, Part 2
- Status: Current
- Flag this theory:
That is why I need 5 guns.
— AngeloComet
Australian Official: Why do you need 5 guns?
Marshall: Gee, you want to tell him, Kate? Why do I need 5 guns?
Actually, Edward, I’d like you to talk me through that one. Why do you require a suitcase of five guns on board a plane when you’re escorting a prisoner? What’s that? You’re not going to explain it? You’re just going to offer up a rambling story about how Kate used to call you at home, so you set up some plan with a toy plane in a bank vault to trap her and found out that it was the only thing she cared about? You’re going to say that story and then annoy Kate a bit to get her angry? You’re gonna get her so angry she jumps up and slams you against a wall until you hit her and knock her down? And then you’re gonna say, “That is why I need 5 guns,” as though you have just proved your point? Is that what you call justification, Edward Mars? Do you think I have the word ‘yesterday’ printed on my birth certificate?
Talk me through the practical benefits of having five guns in a suitcase on board a plane, Edward. In a locked suitcase. Five guns, in a locked suitcase, that’s been stowed with the crew luggage. Talk me through that. How that helps. Explain it to me. I mean, pardon me for saying so, but these guns aren’t exactly handy are they? I mean, if Kate flips out and somehow escapes her handcuffs and manages to, oh, you know, run to the other end of the plane or something, those five guns in that case aren’t exactly dancing on the end of your fingertips, are they?
By the way, whilst I’m on the subject, where exactly do you think Kate is going to go? You’re in mid-air on a sealed aircraft. In the parlance of our times I offer you the following riposte: She ain’t goin’ nowhere.
By the way, what’s to stop Kate, if she escapes you and her handcuffs, going to the crew luggage and getting the case of guns for herself? Just a point.
But let’s get to the meat of this, Edward. Talk me through it. Why five guns? I mean, hell, why not seven or nine or, you know, one gun? I mean, I’m not exactly a firearm expert or anything but I’m struggling to imagine how one precisely utilises five guns. At once. What with us humans only having two hands and all that. I’m counting two hands and I’m counting five guns and I’m getting all perplexed. You know John McClane, or John Rambo? Those boys never used five guns at once, Eddie, and no disrespect but they are way cooler than you are. One gun’s enough, OK? If the emergency arises, one gun’s enough for one man. Unless you plan to start handing them out to passengers and crew to hunt down a prisoner trapped on board a sealed aircraft flying at hundreds of miles an hour in the air.
I’m no expert but, you know, I’m guessing arming civilians to hunt down fugitives isn’t exactly standard protocol.
Tell me something, Edward, you don’t actually intend shooting a gun on board a plane mid-flight do you? I hate to have to break it to you, but that’s kind of a dangerous thing to do. I’m not an expert, but it’s something to do with air pressure and bullet holes not mixing. All I’m saying is, should Kate manage to escape, it might be better to be on board a plane with no guns on it to minimise risk and simply wait for the plane to land and then deal with the situation on the ground. I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job or anything because, obviously, you’re very good at it (apart from that time you let Kate escape from your car because you were too busy chatting and not watching the road, and that time you thought it was Kate visiting her mother only it was someone else in a wig). Look, Ed, you’re on a plane. If prisons could float they’d be real tough to escape from. Did I mention before, about how Kate “ain’t goin’ nowhere”?
Talk me through it, Ed. Level with me. Doesn’t five guns just seem like a tincy-wincy bit of an overkill?
What’s that, Edward? You want to tell me the truth? You want to explain to me why you’ve really got a case of five-guns being stowed on the plane? Ah! Because it’s a plot device the writers threw in! Because what’s better than having one gun on an Island? Having five guns on an Island! I mean, how else is Charlie going to manage to get his hands on a gun and shoot dead Ethan before he gets the chance to tell our survivors anything remotely useful? How else can power shifts and attack plans be staged if there’s only one gun going around? I see now! This otherwise completely absurd justification now becomes reasonable! Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?
Marshall: That is why I need 5 guns.
Oh, Eddie, you’re such a dumbass - you deserve what’s coming to you.
You , make some good points AC, but I don’t think you used the phrase, “five guns” enough. ;)
My question is why not 4 or 8 guns? It would fit in nicely with the numbers theme. Although, the number 5 is tattooed on Jack’s arm…
And, although firing a gun on a plane would probably be an air marshal’s last resort, the result wouldn’t be cataclysmic. I submit the following: http://gadgetopia.com/post/2606
R.I.P. Edward “five guns” Mars
Either
a) Our marshal friend has a need of a serious ego boost
or
b) Kate and the marshal could be working for DI/Widmore/Paik, knowing 5 guns would be useful, certainly more useful than 1.
AC—
A plus one from me. Not because I agree with the content of your post, but because I love your writing style and truly feel that these rants are important even for us die-hard Lost fans.
As I mentioned above, I do not agree with the rant. The reason is very simply because if the purpose of placing 5 guns in the suitcase was just the writers’ way of geting 5 guns onto the island for the losties to access, I can think of half a dozen ways of doing that. I mean, the DI members who were gassed were somehow thrown into the pit with their weapons. Given that, I don’t find it hard to imagine that a lostie could find a gun randomly left on the floor in the jungle. Or better yet, a lostie to have seized a gun from an Other when they were at their premises. Or for guns to have been found on the black rock. etc. etc.
In short, what I am saying, AC, is that if the writers merely needed to get 5 guns on the island, they could have found many an opportunity to do so.
No, the reason why the writers wanted him to have 5 guns was to show the level of “deep doodoo” that Kate was in at the time. 5 guns surely gets our attention as to the gravity of her situation and the depravity of her crime!
Of course, it’s convenient for the writers to have access to guns on the island via this marshall. But that was not the primary reason why they wrote that into the script!
AC, if you disagree, I’d like to hear it. If anyone else has feelings about this, let me know!
KKB, I respectfully disagree. Your reasoning for why five guns makes sense is because there are other ways of getting guns to the Island and, therefore, since the writers didn’t choose the other ways then the way they chose must be the right one.
Your line of argument is kind of like the tail wagging the dog, if you get my meaning. It’s a false syllogism.
AC, I have to concur with Kirby on this one.
Btw: I fell off the turnip truck, granted, and it was at night, it just wasn’t last night!
I’m somewhat inclined toward Staypuft’s theory which would make this all a display for someone, except that the animosity between the Marshall and Kate seems very real. But my idea about Kate as a mole would be that she’s working for Widmore reluctantly—some deal has been done—so maybe the animosity makes sense.
But I love your rants AC—keep ‘em coming.
Nice Python shout-out sham.
AC—
No! What I am saying is that there are BETTER ways for the writers to get guns on the island if that is all they are meaning to do. Since they did not opt for those means, but relied on this one, must be that their doing so has alternative purposes.
But a cute rant nonetheless.
But… five… guns… don’t… make… sense!
[Combusts]
Hi AC. I agree with your rant to a certain degree. I dont think the Marshall had the 5 guns because he had to take Kate on a plane. I think he brought them to Australia from the States to hunt Kate down with and was simply returning home with them. Still, five guns is excessive :)
Are you implying that Mars might be like Hawking or the monk guy whose name escapes me? (Brother Campbell?) That the guns were planted there by Mars because he has a notion of the future, and he wants them there for a darned good reason?
If you’re not, I’m gonna. Jus’ sayin’.
I assume that Edward had the guns prior his trip to Australia. That means that he carried five guns to Australia. He did not know what to expect when he arrived in Australia, Kate, probably with her looks could have gathered quite a few guys to protect her. Since he took five guns to Australia he probably needs to carry five guns back, especially since he is a Fed, those guns are Government Issue.
Why five guns? Why not reload? It’s easier to drop a gun and start firing another gun, than to reload a gun. If it is your life you are defending, you can never have enough guns.
Sorry AC, but you have earned your first -1 from me
I agree AC.
“Well how do we get guns on the island?’ “there’s a marshal” “yeah but how many guns could he possibly bring” “what if we make his prisoner SO dangerous that he HAS to have more guns?” “yeah that’ll do”.
I think the odds are greater that it’s lazy writing than Kate being some kind of Widmore mole. Even if she was a ‘mole’, she’s not the one with the guns, so it still comes down to the same lazy writing issue. That said I don’t think it’s a big deal, they needed guns.
i 100% agree when i first watched that ep a couple of years ago i thought one gun is surley enough to arrest kate. maybe if the writers thought a bit harder they could of introduced four other marshals to each represent a gun. Then they could wrote off the marshals that the plane had only two seats left, so the other four marshals bourded another flight missing the whole crash, resulting in a more resonible excuse to have five guns on a island.
hehe Angelo, I love everything you write. :-) And I do agree with whoever said even these rants are good for the site. +1, of course, because I like your sytle and because you brought this subject up.
However, I tend to agree more with wtf. I think he brought the gun power he thought he would need to Australia to take Kate in and was just returning to the states with it. It was in a locked case on the plane, so obviously he had no intention of using the guns there, but he did have to return with them.
And it was also a clever plot device by the writers to get guns to the survivors. Why five? That I don’t know, Angelo!!
AC—
I completely agree with wtfsignmeup.
5 guns would make perfect sense, assuming that theory.
But again, cute rant. Keep ‘em coming!!!
Hmmm.
OK. Firstly, I’ll admit the point that the five guns in the case were just guns being transported back was not immediately apparent to me (probably fogged by the red mist or whatever). On that point the majority of my rant, about the futility of having them onboard, is nullified. I’m big enough to climb down from that high horse.
However, Mars out in the field, hunting Kate in Australia, I’m still not buying five guns. You’re saying he went out strapped up with five guns about his person!? Is it US government standard procedure to issue their marshall’s with five guns rather than just one? Where did he put them all? Two strapped to his body? One in each boot? One in his back belt? And he wanted to chase somebody carrying all that metal!?
Yeah, good luck.
And if he didn’t go with all the guns at once then there was no need to take them all! Just reload the one you’ve got, man! (And as far as I can remember he never fired one of his five guns anyway, so that was time and effort well spent.)
By the way, all that pleasantly remarked they liked my rants, I’d be careful what you wish for. I’ve got lots. I’m just staggering them out slowly between ‘proper’ theories. I don’t want to get a reputation as a serial ranter. But, you know, thank you. Sincerely. I do actually write my rants with a big grin on my face. I trust you all read them in the same spirit.
“AC rants” are awesome.
AC, It is perfectly acceptable to be a “serial ranter”, providing it makes sense and has value!
I think the writers used the “5 gun situation”, to introduce guns into the story line. A bit of sloppy writing, which could have been dealt with in a more believable manner, in my humble opinion.
Ditto that, dab.
It’s still just TV folks.
Prof looks around to make sure the black smoke didn’t hear him say that…
Dangit!