LOST-Theories.com

Huzzah! Huzzah! Thunderous Applause

— jazprof

Hey Everyone! It’s Prof’s One Year Anniversary on LT! So raise a tall and frosty glass of A&W and give him a rousing cheer!

Huzzah! Huzzah! Thunderous Applause

In honor of the day I humbly offer the following ditty (with apologies to Lewis Carroll). Please feel free to add additional stanzas.

For you, Prof, with a whole lotta lovin’ and huggin’ from me and all us Prof-lovin’ theorists of LT:

The Lost Man

I’ll tell thee everything I can;

There’s little to relate,

I saw a tie-dyed t-shirt man,

A-sitting on a gate.

“Who are you, t-shirt man?” said I.

“And what is it you do?”

And his answer on the site went by,

(With commentary too).

“I look to see if skittles will,

Be dropping from the sky.

Or if the magic box doth fill,

The land with Dharma pie.

My alter-ego’s busy,

Unsettling with his gaze.

Sending all into a tizzy,

There’s not one that I can’t faze.

Jung’s theories I incorporate,

A bit of Skinner too.

Maintaining that it’s more than fate,

‘Tis a Ben-constructed coup.”

But I was thinking of a plan

To dye my whiskers black.

And see how off a bridge I land.

(You see I’m playing Jack.)

So, having no reply to give

To what the Lost man said,

I cried, “Come tell me how you live!”

And thumped him on the head.

“A radio, I do declare,

Is central to the tale.

And when this season finally airs,

My genius you will hail.

A woman in man’s body,

Her story I’ll relate.

And I’ll cover theorists naughty

In promo-shirts for Fred ‘n’ Kate.

And to hold it all together,

(Say it now along with me).

It could predict the weather,

Synchro-freakin-nicity.”

And now if happenstance do find,

My hand in peanut butter.

Or Rousseau’s ropes begin to bind,

And I hear the whispers mutter.

I weep for it reminds me so

Of that Lost man I used to know—

Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow,

Whose hair’s length I could never know,

Whose face was very like a crow

With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,

Who seemed distracted with his woe,

Who rocked his body to and fro,

And muttered mumblingly and low,

As if his mouth were full of dough,

Who snorted like a buffalo—

That winter evening long ago

A-sitting on a gate.

Key episodes

# Title Aired Central character Theories
3.21 Greatest Hits 5-16-2007 Charlie 171

Comments

  1. wtfsignmeup Dec 1, 2007 6:18 a.m. Comment: 1

    That was awesome!and happy LT anniversary Prof. Jaz….my favourite part was… And I’ll cover theorists naughty

    In promo-shirts for Fred ‘n’ Kate.

    And to hold it all together,

    (Say it now along with me).

    It could predict the weather,

    Synchro-freakin-nicity.”

    And of course ..“A radio, I do declare,

    Is central to the tale. ” Love it !

    .

  2. shamballa Dec 1, 2007 6:52 a.m. Comment: 2

    Cheers ProfO! You magnificent…

    It just wouldn’t be Lost-Theories without you or Fred.

    I’ll leave the poetry part to the experts. ;)

  3. RunLostiesRun Dec 1, 2007 6:52 a.m. Comment: 3

    Happy L. T. Anniversary!!! I really like your profle, also. One little thing confuses me though, your profile states: Member since: Mar 17, 2007 Either I missed the last 3 1/2 months on a really bad bender, or someone screwed up your membership date. LOL.

    Mike.

  4. shamballa Dec 1, 2007 7:08 a.m. Comment: 4

    RunLostiesRun, jazprof is waxing poetic about the illustrious ProfOzone, not herself. ;)

  5. RunLostiesRun Dec 1, 2007 7:31 a.m. Comment: 5

    Oh, sorry, I’m a newbie to this site. I assumed the prof in the title refered to her name. Wow, I’m going to check out this illustrious ProfOzone’s theories. Thanks.

  6. Annie79 Dec 1, 2007 7:31 a.m. Comment: 6

    Prof, Happy Anniversary!!! What would we ever have been without you to guide us???? I consider you the heart and soul of LT Land and I wish you many more anniversaries…. well at least 3 more, maybe 4 to clear up the finale!!!

    +1 to you, jaz for posting this reminder for us and the genius poem!!

  7. wtfsignmeup Dec 1, 2007 7:36 a.m. Comment: 7

    Annie, something tells me we could theorise on this show for years after it ends! So many anniversaries to come for all of us. But I definitely agree that Prof is the heart and soul of LT. Of course being a woman, Jazzie is the brains ;-)

  8. Annie79 Dec 1, 2007 8:03 a.m. Comment: 8

    wtf, totally agree!!!

  9. shamballa Dec 1, 2007 8:07 a.m. Comment: 9

    RLR, welcome to the site. ProfOzone is one of the better theorists here and is quite a talented individual.

    Here is a link to help you get oriented: http://www.lost-theories.com/theories/2007/jul/14/i-can-always-spot-newbies/

  10. katesawjack Dec 1, 2007 8:55 a.m. Comment: 10
    • jaz That was a nice gesture, and a very well deserved tribute to one of the best contributors to this site, but I would be remiss if not saying that you are as well.(Our resident Poet)
    • annie You & I share the same anniversary(As you Know)
    • wtf I have only recently had the priviledge of contact with you on a different level.
    • sham I have spoken with you about our sharing of the same place on the planet.
    • RunLostiesRun You are a newbie as you say,to you I say you will not find a more enjoyable,informative,talented group of people that have came together in one place to share in their Love for the best thing to ever be put on television named Lost anywhere in this cyberspace.
    • Last but certainly not least, I raise my glass to toast the Magnificent ProfOzone I am going to finish this now,and I am sorry for taking anything away from this fitting tribute to prof,but it seemed like a good chance to say I Love you Guys

    I have many other persons here that I am leaving out ,so to name only a few Kat,Dab,Tharde,but you know , I cannot name you all ! One more thing I have not commented about the proposed meeting of many of you, that will be going to Las Vegas. ( I hope that it happens) I know that if it is at all possible I will be adding my name to that list also. I would like nothing better than to be able to meet a lot of you !

  11. dabiatchishere Dec 1, 2007 11:31 a.m. Comment: 11

    JazzPoet, You continually amaze me with your abilities as a writer, philosopher, et el. Well done! +1

    Dabbie raises a glass of Root Beer to Prof! Happy Anniversary!

    We have a few more Anniversary’s coming up in the next few months, as well! Risebysin - March 12th, Katrinicity - March 15th, Jazprof - March 17th, Tharde - March 30th, and myself April 15th. I know I am probably leaving some people out, so feel free to add yourselves to the list!

    KSJ, You certainly can add yourself to the list for Vegas, and that goes for anyone else who would like to go, as well!

  12. RunLostiesRun Dec 1, 2007 12:07 p.m. Comment: 12

    Shamballa,

    I only meant that I was a newbie to this site. I visit the other sites daily and am a LOST mapper. My blog site is RunLostiesRun.blogspot.com. I took my map down after seeing Ben’s map and realizing my locations could not be correct. I subsequently have corrected everything (you would not believe where half the stuff is). I actually cataloged about 500 screen shots to orient myself properly on the island (I numbered about 60 differenct locatioins) I should repost it in about 2 months.

  13. ProfOzone Dec 1, 2007 12:19 p.m. Comment: 13

    Yay! I’m one years old today!

    I love you guys. :-)

    Prof drinks a root beer toast to the LOST Tribe.

    And here’s to all the new folks… don’t think we don’t love ya! Cuz we do!

    Prof drinks to the new folks.

    And special thanks to Jaz. You KNOW you’re awesome.

    Prof drinks to Jaz.

  14. tragicclown Dec 1, 2007 12:24 p.m. Comment: 14

    your theories are indeed mindblowing, seriously dude, you’re a true asset to the LT community!

    And my hat goes off to all of you out there, I love reading all of your theories!

    Cheers :)

  15. ProfOzone Dec 1, 2007 12:33 p.m. Comment: 15

    Thanks, tc! :-)

    And… we missed ozzig’s anniversary back on Nov. 6.

    Prof drinks a toast to his ‘ol pal ozzig.

  16. dabiatchishere Dec 1, 2007 12:41 p.m. Comment: 16

    RLR, You certainly did put a lot of time and effort into your site! Great job!

    Welcome to the LT site!! Happy Posting!

    Proffie, I am looking forward to next season, when you will start Prophesizing again!! I know I am not the only person who has missed your theories!

  17. Annie79 Dec 1, 2007 12:45 p.m. Comment: 17

    Prof, you just took the words right out of my mouth!!!!

    I’ve been going through the comments section to see when everyone joined, ( okay, I was checking to see who joined around me in June ) and noticed we just missed ozzig’s anniversary. Gosh, I hope I’m starting to think like you……

    Anyway, Belated Happy Anniversary ozzig. :-)

  18. jazprof Dec 1, 2007 1 p.m. Comment: 18

    Oh hey, I’ll join you guys in that Belated Happy Anniversary to ozzig!

    cheers ozzig!

    and thanks to everyone for your appreciation…I really don’t think of myself as much of a poet, but give me something to parody and I’m off…;-)

    I like to think of all of us as a wandering band of Renaissance players, playing many parts as needs be, tweaking the script, painting the scenery….there’s just an amazing range of talent here to call upon…

    I love you guys!

  19. shamballa Dec 1, 2007 1:20 p.m. Comment: 19

    Very cool RLR. I can see from your site you are a LOST vet. ;)

  20. mrssawyer Dec 1, 2007 1:25 p.m. Comment: 20

    Happy anniversary Proffie. What a fine example of a man you are. You write good, you talk pretty and you brush up real smart.

    I heart you!

  21. shamballa Dec 1, 2007 1:45 p.m. Comment: 21

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVSH3YZzX7U

  22. jazprof Dec 1, 2007 4:04 p.m. Comment: 22

    I’m so glad you went with your heart, kat; it always serves you well. It’s no wonder the universe listens when you speak to it so clearly…

  23. ProfOzone Dec 1, 2007 11:07 p.m. Comment: 23

    :-)

    Y’all are WAY too good to me.

    Thank you. :-)

  24. shamballa Dec 2, 2007 11:17 a.m. Comment: 24

    You get what you give brotha.

  25. ProfOzone Dec 2, 2007 3:35 p.m. Comment: 25

    :-D

  26. Paintgirl18 Dec 2, 2007 7:07 p.m. Comment: 26

    Cheers to Jaz, Prof, and Ozzig!

    …and cheers to the rest of the LT “tribe”- You guys are awesome!

    :)

  27. Paintgirl18 Dec 2, 2007 8:13 p.m. Comment: 27

    I thought I’d share a precious nugget of wisdom that I have gleaned from the ever so clever and tremendously insightful, Prof.

    sigh…alright, my friends, please prepare to be enlightened by the words of a true sage…

    The moonwalk… changed… everything!”

  28. jazprof Dec 2, 2007 8:31 p.m. Comment: 28

    But as with all deterministic historical theories, timing is everything. Is this Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk (circa 1969), Michael Jackson’s moonwalk (circa 1983)…OR was it even earlier?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WT57MGaR02I

  29. ozzig Dec 3, 2007 6:41 a.m. Comment: 29

    Well, I saw my name mentioned in the latest comments, and of course I wondered what it was I’d done now, but this time it looks like I didn’t do anything and that’s a relief.

    Thanks for the toast everyone, although I’m a little awkward with things like this. Anniversaries and all that. I always forget mine.

    ProfO, I guess we’re pretty old. Aren’t some others coming up too, like risebysin, cronopia, Station0theHub, Temple1612? You could have an anniversary party once a month for everyone in that month.

  30. ozzig Dec 3, 2007 6:52 a.m. Comment: 30

    Oops, I forgot. Happy Anniversary, Prof. I told you I was bad at this sort of thing.

  31. ProfOzone Dec 3, 2007 3:35 p.m. Comment: 31

    :-)

    You were the first person I “met” here, ozzig, so I can’t ever forget you. :-)

  32. Agent_XXX Dec 3, 2007 6:02 p.m. Comment: 32

    For you Proffie!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ebFXQAUxwk

    Raises a glass of frosty A&W brew

  33. Agent_XXX Dec 3, 2007 6:08 p.m. Comment: 33

    Ok… a link where you can hear it at least.

    :oP

    http://music.yeucahat.com/listen/4759-Happy-Anniversary/

  34. Agent_XXX Dec 3, 2007 6:10 p.m. Comment: 34

    I think someone dimmed the lights and put on the slow music disco ball lights on that one…

    snicker

    IT’S couples SKATE PEOPLE! Grab an arm!

  35. jazprof Dec 3, 2007 7:59 p.m. Comment: 35

    Sarah Connor, eh? Actually as soon as I saw Sarah Connor this was the first thing that sprang to mind:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHJ7Q17LsI8

    I’ll grab your arm Agent if you don’t mind the 99% possibility of takin a tumble—strap on a pillow or two and we’re ready to roll…

  36. tharde5 Dec 4, 2007 12:09 p.m. Comment: 36

    ProfO A very merry anniversary.. Your one in a million (do we have that many users here?) Just kidding. Your the beacon of this site. The master and I bow humbly before thee.. I also wish to salute you for your undeniable presence on this site. Your rather like EF Hutton….When ProfO speaks….people listen!

    Bravo Prof and Cheers

    T.Harde raises a toast of frosty Diet Coke to the gifted one “The Professor”

  37. ProfOzone Dec 4, 2007 4:06 p.m. Comment: 37

    Back atcha, tharde my good man! :-) Can’t wait to meet you and yours again in LOST Vegas!

  38. tharde5 Dec 4, 2007 6:13 p.m. Comment: 38

    We will be there!!! I cant wait to see you again and meet our LT buddies. It should be a memorable event.